My 1st post..

This was my 1st post (2 June 2010). I'm a shy and humble person, always treat myself as the lowest standards person on earth. I'm also a negative thinker, seeking answers to overcome my sick mind. I'm not popular, not many people like my personality, people hated me so much... That's what made me sick until now. I'm making this, just to find answers from my friends, to control myself from being negative until the end.

Sometimes, it's fun to talk with friends who cares for you. We share our experiences, entertainment, problems, love and care... but when a friend changed, we... i meant I cant stand because i cant feel the old friend's relationship we once had. it's true that you improve a lot this year, but do you need to show them off to us? i mean, i'm probably the only 1 who cant stand you, but i hate those people who like to show off themselves. Besides that, i hated you so much that you always get near to the girl who are close to me, but i couldn't say anything, knowing that it is wrong to birth hatred between friends, and so I eat all this shit up by myself. I hope to meet the old you after every exams, because that's when i enjoys much being with you, but not giving pressure and humiliation to me. I really hoped you turned back to how you was before....

Next, I'd made friendship with a girl in Kuala Perlis, she's cute, active, and popular. When time passes, I'd suddenly became her "kai brother". At that very moment on, I feel that i have the responsibility to care for her. As I care for her so much (not love), suddenly something popped into my swine-minded head,telling me to stop this act. And so I thought about this relationship and responsibility for her for the whole day, should I maintain a certain distance to her? Because if i go on, things may happened to her, and it also hurts when you go on too deep in relationship.

Besides, you have all those fancy and popular friends of yours with you, there's no need for me to accompany you, spend my time on you. I don't want to hurt you, instead I hurt myself back..

I hate to be left alone, I also hate people surrounding me. I don't know what I need, i don't want to know how my future goes. I just want to live in peace, away from argument, chaos from the politics i'd faced before now, i'm just a simple person who enjoys songs, a wide space, dawn, and a relaxing situation. And I wish to find someone who can be with me.......

*(wishes for you : good luck in your future endeavour, and happy always)*