Just another update.. =)

Didn't online or blog these few days, because i'm crazy about playing games! Playing Modern Warfare 2 online non-stop, determined to rank-up myslelf~ But now, haiz... nothing to do. I want a meeting with my friends~

Yee Py finally came back to Malaysia from China, hope that we'll have badminton tomorrow~ >.< then Saturday come to my house play again. =] Winnee, William, Suzie, Nicholas, Blake~ you guys must come o~~ xP

Well, time flies~ it felt like just over for a week, but not, @@ not it's Thursday night already! A few days ahead then we're back to much more boring life - back to school. I still want some more! I din have enough og this holiday! i want exercise, meet my friends, badminton, and so much more that i havent done! Argh!!!

"Great" holidays.

Well, the holidays started on 5th of June on Saturday, just after my exam. I thought that this going to be a RELAXING time for me, but then my parents came out a word," We'll be going to KL this Sunday." that word shot me into the head, then my mood just dropped down to zero, knowing this would not be a relaxing holidays for me. Well, what can I do to not to go? Of course I cant do anything!

The next day, woke up early in the morning, load things into the car, then we're off to go. It was a boring, torturing 5 hours journey to KL, I just sat behind the cars and just slept, listened to music, talking to parents and other things as usual. Next, arrived at my siblings' house, took a glance at their face, just to make sure their moods were cool. Unloaded the luggages into the house. Not even over 5 minutes then we're rushed to the restaurant to have lunch, OH MY GOD my stomach were so FULL that i ate so many chips on the way to KL. >.<>

The next few days were boring, sat in front of the tv for 4 days, watching so many movies which brother had bought. Didn't have time to chat with my sisters and brother also, my brother and big sis were working for the whole day, and my second sister had an exam to face so she needed to study. So it just left me and my mum and dad, absolutely nothing to do~ Well, i missed my friends, i promised to buy some presents for them, but turned out I cant go out instead. So sorry~ Yap song sen, Woon py, Shi Yuan, Geok lu~ Sorry that I din bought anything for you guys~ :P but truly, i missed you guys back there. =)

Yesterday (10th June), out of nowhere, i had a fight with my family, which made the holiday sucks like hell until now. I missed my friends, I hope they miss me, but that wont happen.. zzz

Well, i must go on and plan my timetable to fully use my holidays, or else i'll be lacking off on my studies again.. =.= God please help!

My life's running out of purpose..

friends start to ignore me, seeing me not an important person.

i treated them as my treasure, cherishing them no matter what.

but now i see, i'm just a trash, not their friend, no 1 cherishes me.

i've been in hell these past few days, wondering whether to leave them or not. i'd post many things bout my thought on facebook, but no one gives responses ; i'd forward the best friends' post to many person, but i felt that they forward back to me unwillingly, do i really am a nobody to you? or there's something wrong to my acts? please some1 please tell me.

My 1st post..

This was my 1st post (2 June 2010). I'm a shy and humble person, always treat myself as the lowest standards person on earth. I'm also a negative thinker, seeking answers to overcome my sick mind. I'm not popular, not many people like my personality, people hated me so much... That's what made me sick until now. I'm making this, just to find answers from my friends, to control myself from being negative until the end.

Sometimes, it's fun to talk with friends who cares for you. We share our experiences, entertainment, problems, love and care... but when a friend changed, we... i meant I cant stand because i cant feel the old friend's relationship we once had. it's true that you improve a lot this year, but do you need to show them off to us? i mean, i'm probably the only 1 who cant stand you, but i hate those people who like to show off themselves. Besides that, i hated you so much that you always get near to the girl who are close to me, but i couldn't say anything, knowing that it is wrong to birth hatred between friends, and so I eat all this shit up by myself. I hope to meet the old you after every exams, because that's when i enjoys much being with you, but not giving pressure and humiliation to me. I really hoped you turned back to how you was before....

Next, I'd made friendship with a girl in Kuala Perlis, she's cute, active, and popular. When time passes, I'd suddenly became her "kai brother". At that very moment on, I feel that i have the responsibility to care for her. As I care for her so much (not love), suddenly something popped into my swine-minded head,telling me to stop this act. And so I thought about this relationship and responsibility for her for the whole day, should I maintain a certain distance to her? Because if i go on, things may happened to her, and it also hurts when you go on too deep in relationship.

Besides, you have all those fancy and popular friends of yours with you, there's no need for me to accompany you, spend my time on you. I don't want to hurt you, instead I hurt myself back..

I hate to be left alone, I also hate people surrounding me. I don't know what I need, i don't want to know how my future goes. I just want to live in peace, away from argument, chaos from the politics i'd faced before now, i'm just a simple person who enjoys songs, a wide space, dawn, and a relaxing situation. And I wish to find someone who can be with me.......

*(wishes for you : good luck in your future endeavour, and happy always)*